Girls on Board: Girls, Friendship and a New Approach

When girls fall out with each other at school it can be really tough for those girls and the adults – parents and teachers – who try to support them. Traditionally, teachers try to help resolve friendship turbulence through an investigative approach. They ask girls to make written statements and get them to talk about their feelings. The problem is that these methods rarely create lasting harmony between the girls. Indeed, if you ask the girls if they think things get better or worse when the grown-ups get involved in friendship matters they will tell you WORSE – every time.

Andrew Hampton was a Headteacher for 18 years and, in 2017, he created a different approach to supporting girls and their friendships. The approach is called Girls on Board and it has been adopted by over 1,500 schools in the UK and across the world. It has been featured on BBC Five Live and in the RSA Journal. The approach has won many awards, including from the TES, ISA and NAPCE. Thousands of teachers have received training and are helping to make girls in school happier and doing better.

Girls on Board first acknowledges the central and vital truth that every girl at school needs at least one other girl, in her year group, at her school to call a friend. They feel this so keenly that it becomes an existential imperative. From this one simple truth stems an approach which cuts through the drama and empowers girls to find their own solutions.

When girls fall out in a Girls on Board school, teachers first check that bullying hasn’t taken place and, if not, they take a non-judgmental approach. The teacher will start by listening but not writing anything down. This initial informal, non-judgmental approach is often enough to make the girls feel heard and calmer. But if that is not enough then a Girls on Board session is called for the wider group. In the session the teacher/facilitator leads discussions and role plays that hold up a mirror to the way girls form their relational cultures. The effect is to evoke powerful empathy. The empathy the girls feel empowers them to resolve their differences for themselves. They do this with support but without interference. The girls enjoy the sessions because they take ownership over the learning and get to discuss a subject about which they are all world experts – their friendship dynamics.

Andrew Hampton now trains teachers up and down the country in face-to-face training events and also online. He delivers workshops for parents to learn how best to support their daughters when friendships go wrong. “It’s all about seeing the issue from the girls’ point of view.” said Hampton. “The most important thing to bear in mind is that, when your daughter starts to tell you about friendships that might be going wrong, she is telling you not because you need to know but because she needs to tell you.”.

Hampton has recently published a book for parents, co-authored with his two grownup daughters, Naomi and Holly. “The book is selling well – over 6,000 copies since 2022.” commented Hampton. A review on Amazon said, ‘Simply the best parenting book I have ever read.’

“This is such simple approach when you think about it, having such an impact on the girls.  I feel such a sense of relief…it is so depressing at times when you have the same children experiencing the same problems over and over and us adults being ineffective at helping them – even though we believe we are doing the right thing.  It feels like I have been stuck in a vicious circle and finally you have shown me a different way. Thank you.” Year 5 teacher

You can read more about the approach and purchase the book for parents, When Girls Fall Out, at the website GirlsonBoard.co.uk